Sunday, May 17 2009 at 22:37 (Books, Daily Life, Music, Pictures, Rants, Reviews, Videos) (, , , , , , )

In which I think of this title several days before the event itself.

Well, writing this now every single other person has written almost everything there is to say about the past few days, so it would seem. Or not? Maybe I’ll try and give a different spin on events.

First difference: unlike everyone else, my last blog was on Monday, so I need to cover since then. Tuesday began with double rounders, in which a strong wind was blowing, making bowling difficult and ruining almost all trajectories,  making hitting the ball difficult as well. I actually only got one good hit, and I was stumped out, so…
After break there was Biology, in which I attempted to spend some time revising RS, before realising that I actually knew almost all of it, and that there would be no fun to be had unless I had someone else to revise with. Unfortunately for me, both Eliza and Alison were skiving off the morning in order to revise/sleep/have a bath. At about twenty past twelve Eliza finally arrived, so we did some revision before heading off to the first RS exam, which was at one o’clock. We queued up outside, we went in, we did the exam, we came out again.
It seemed drastically easy to me (and indeed to some others), perhaps because we’ve seen almost all of the questions before in various incarnations, or because we had an extra fifteen minutes – I don’t know. The two sections are meant to take half the time each, and after doing the first section in twenty-five minutes I realised that I might as well do the essay section of the paper slowly and relax a bit. Even at the slow pace, I still finished with a fair amount of time to go, so I got a bit bored. I’m confident that I did fairly well – I think.
Afterwards there was Maths before home ‘n’ shizzle.
Oh, on the bus Tom B kept humming a song that wasn’t quite Smooth Criminal, but it was enough to get it stuck in my head, so when I got home I downloaded both the above and Billie Jean, then listened to both of them obsessively for a bit.

Wednesday… hmm…
We spent much of Chemistry doing practice papers before watching the first chunk of a film called ‘Role Models’ – We’ll get onto that later. In DT nothing much happened, and I sat in a cupboard for about ten minutes listening to Michael Jackson, and then in RS we had massive amounts of cake and fishing-based revision games. She a crazy woman, that Miss Lambert.

Thursday… where we pick up on everyone else’s entries… hm. Double Spanish was nice, because we did a listening paper I’d done with Miss Page at the weekend, so everyone who had gone got very good marks. Me? 40/40. Bitch.
We gave Ester (the Spanish assistant) a card as she was leaving, and we all ate some delicious… things that consisted of at least two kinds of chocolate and marshmallow bits. In Drama we had our very crappy quiz, in which everyone else cheated or sucked, then there was Maths followed by a hastily abandoned practice paper in German.

Friday. Oh gawsh.
I went in as usual, although I did have to fend off people from signing my shirt by shouting that I had a Spanish exam and it could be considered cheating. Everyone in our year was registering in the Maths block, so I had to jump around lots of people using the above excuse. When the bell went I hurried to E10, the room where the Spanish exam was to take place. Little did we realise that all the foundation students had to be tested before the higher students, AND that we had to be kept in isolation whilst the others were tested, so I sat in E8 with Eliza, Chloé and Emily revising vocab in a somewhat urgent manner and being apparently far loud. In the exam itself everything went fairly smoothly, with only occasional hiccoughs in vocab being a downfall. I think I did fairly well.

Returning to English, we did… something. There was some kind of revision activity that Ned sucked at, was all I can remember. In double Physics we had masses of sweets and things, and I got my shirt  signed by Miss Fletcher. We then watched the remainder of ‘Role Models’. It was interesting,because although it had a limp story, cardboard characters, generic plot, insufferable slapstick humour and cringeworthy moments presented by some fairly ‘meh’ acting, as a package it hung together fairly well to give probably the best sort of film for a last day of school. I have mentioned that this was my last day, right?

At lunch time I was already stuffed full of stuff, so I didn’t actually eat my lunch. Instead, there was masses of shirt-signing activity. Here are some of the things I wrote on people:
Max – TF2 KING (on collar)
Chris – BALLZ (or something similar) and then later ‘Bleach FTW’
Chloé – My favourite superhero
Ned – Mere ink cannot express my love

And from other people to me…
Andy – Sexy beast!
Emily – Arr me hearty (w/picture of pirate ship)
Peter H – Insert Chrono Trigger here (arrow to rear)
Cheyenne – I hope you go gay.
Chloé – The Legend.
Ned – Personal space Ben. Yes, Love you.
Evie S – My whore! (?)

Some weird ones there…
That afternoon we played Trivial Pursuits in German and ate cake and had a quiz in English, in which I got the first question in about a nanosecond, AND I made up our buzzing method at the same time. I also got another English question fairly quickly, once I had some initials (STC=Samuel Taylor Coleridge).
And then that was it. Or was it? Wait…

There was Pr0m!
(In case you aren’t aware, Pr0n is internet slang for pornography so this is a hilarious play on words)
After getting a few more signatures on the bus and getting home I surfed the net before showering, eating pizza and then donning my suity-thing. I even had a hand-tied bow tie, and as far as I could tell I was the only one. Dan had a hand tied one, but it doesn’t count ’cause his mum tied it for him. I was picked up by Nico and his mother, and we were then driven to the school where we met Chris and later our transport. Here I’m just going to whore some photos from other people’s blogs.

Im the hot one. Yes, the others look fine, but Im just the most dashing.

I'm the hot one. Yes, the others look fine, but I'm just the most dashing. I'm also the tallest...

The limo ride was fun, although as others mentioned, the Pac-man thang was not working, and so we were stuck watching Bad Boys 2 with no sound on the tiny TV thing. When we arrived we had a cheer as we stepped into the declining sunlight…

Oh yes. We rock. You people all know it.

Oh yes. We rock. You people all know it.

Bitches got OWNED.

It was a very strange experience, seeing everyone dressed up, particularly some people who one might believe have never managed to wear a tie properly even after five years at school. We milled about a bit and chatted before everyone was invited inside, which prompted Mrs Crimp to ask whether I had a date, and then to say that Nico and I were the most handsome people in our form when I replied in the negative (NYR no.3 failed). What does that say about our form? We went inside and claimed a table, then almost EXACTLY this happened:

Don’t deny it. The taste in music was bit crap so I just milled around and talked to some people and told them that they looked fabulous when they really did and that they looked fabulous when they didn’t, because I’m just nice like that. After a while Mr Wheeler took a microphone and gave a speech before handing out some awards. Several people had told me that they’d voted for me to be ‘most likely to take over the world’, but when Max won both that and ‘most likely to be a millionnaire’ (as I predicted) I wasn’t expecting to win anything. However, a few awards in Mr Wheeler announced the ‘Most likely to be Prime Minister’ award, and then said my name. I was pleasantly surprised, and I walked up to the front to get my certificate, fighting the urge to jump and whoop like a douchebag. In hindsight, I should probably have done the Winston Churchill ‘peace’ thing.
After the awards (Eliza also won an award for biggest gossip) the music came back on in its crappiness and the terrible foodstuffs were made available, lacking any of the promised chicken dippers. It was all dry sandwiches and things, but the savoury table was sobered by the presence of a massive stand of cakes of enormous richness and sweetness. The night dragged on a bit with crappy music and missing ‘Livin’ on a Prayer’ due to being outside, but then just as I was eating another cake, along came Thriller.
I threw down my cake, shouted ‘Holy Shit’ and jumped onto the dancefloor where I started moving like a madman. The final song of the evening was ‘I want it that way’ by the Backstreet Boys, to which both Max and I were singing the ‘eBay’ by ‘Weird Al’ Yankovic words.

Saturday started with me hugging a bunch of people, and then pushing outside only to find myself stuck in the rain, waiting for everyone to get on the coach. I sat near the back, where I dozed for a bit until we arrived at the school and I was picked up by my father, and taken home.

On Saturday I managed to wake up at 9am, where I found a torrent for the Final Fantasy VII ISO and then played VIII (which I actually own) whilst it downloaded. When it did, I fired it up, and… wow. It’s pretty damned good. Sublime RPG elements, refined battle systems, amazing pre-rendered scenery and FMV (I want a whole game that looks like Final Fantasy PSX FMV. Seriously.) and appropriately ridiculous characters, although they would probably look better if the Playstation actually had a z-buffer. It evens tones down the CD load times massively. God knows how they managed to make VIII so crappy after this.
– As close to Chrono Trigger as any Final Fantasy is ever likely to get.

In fact, FF VII was pretty much my whole weekend. Revision for my two upcoming exams? Don’t make me laugh.

So after getting the two Michael Jackson songs mentioned (far) above, I eventually decided that I needed more, so I got the MJ ‘Number Ones’ album, which is fairly good. Some tunes which I don’t know the titles to, but can instantly recognise.
Also because of my ignorance of the music that was featured at Pr0m I’ve decided to expand my… ahem… eccentric musical tastes by attempting to listen to the UK and US number one tracks every week so next time there is one of these… events… I can actually act like I know what I’m listening to. So far I’ve listened to ‘Poker Face’ by Lady Gaga (actually played at the prom) and ‘Boom Boom Pow’ by The Black Eyed Peas, the former of which is very good, although perhaps not for long, whilst the latter… sucks. I really couldn’t hear anything particularly worthy in it. But anyway, I’ll attempt to keep this particular activity going, and if I don’t then Chris can hit me.

Recently I’ve also replaced my busted Sennheisers with some new Sennheisers that are exactly the same in all but the name, as the series has been changed between buying the pairs. They’re still just as good as they were back then. I also got ‘Necropolis’, which is the new(est) Anthony Horrowitz book in ‘The Power of Five’ quintology, which I shall read whilst in France with my family in two week’s time…

Well, that’s just enough to push this over 2000 words. Good thing I waffled so much, eh?

Oh crap, yes! I called Grant a cunt. Suck it, bitch.



  1. Chris said,

    *applaudes* well done! I’m sure he is thinking violent thoughts of you…

  2. Chris said,

    Also, Meatspin came first… then Leekspin…

    • joethearachnid said,

      O RLY? And what proof have you for that, other than Encyclopedia Dramatica?

      • Chris said,

        Leekspin started in 2006. However, a lot of people had seen meatspin BEFORE then. I think I saw it (unfortunately) in year 8…

  3. Max said,

    Nice blog. We look like famous folk coming out of that limo. Furthermore, that video was so much like the real prom it was scary.


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