Why, Oh Why?

Thursday, July 9 2009 at 03:05 (Books, Current Affairs, Daily Life, Music, Pictures, Rants, Theorems) (, , , , , , , )

Why has there not been an entry in such a long time?

Well, short story shorter, NOTHING HAS HAPPENED. Yeah, setting myself up for a killer post here. You can feel how gripping it’s going to be… not to mention that I’m starting writing at 01:35, so my writing/typing is likely to be slurred and full of rude words that I forgot to edit out. Fuck.

So what did happen? Well, far away in the past there was Eliza’s party, which was a bit underwhelming, I suppose. Lots of people said they would be coming but dropped out at the last minute… Not looking at anybody in particular…
For the duration of the party I had bare feet to hide the fact that the only wearable shoes I have at the moment are Crocs, so everybody naturally assumed that I was the ‘jungle man’ and was therefore tasked with getting and keeping the fire going. Fortunately for those otherwise cold people, I’ve been lighting fires since I was five or so, and melting army men with jars of kerosene before then. Even though I had decided not to drink that much at the party, after I finished my ginger ale I was bored and depressed, so I followed Andy around until he started handing out this horrible, HORRIBLE tasting brown liquid called ‘Ale’ and a party melon which was full of meloncholy vodka. See what I did there?
The night drew on, Stacey asked me to touch her bosom, I obliged and we had a nice chat about life despite never having really talked before. This was probably the highlight of the evening. I also found out that Sarah Harris is some sort of Hell’s Angel smoker with leather jackets and that Max can’t put up tents. Later on I went over to a group which seemed to be basking in some sort of haze of giggling and smoke, so I went over to where Rose, Lydia, a few others and Yasemin (didn’t have her down as the type…) were ‘passing the dookie to left hand side’. Understand that my brother has been trying to get me to smoke marijuana for years and I have stubbornly resisted, but under the rock-steady deduction of drunkeness, it seemed like a good idea at the time to have one toke. After that Lydia collapsed sideways onto my lap, dribbling slightly and then demanding that I go with her to the lavatory tent so that she would not be lonely. I managed to brush her off and sat near the fire with Tilly for a bit, where we discussed in depth our career aspirations and what to expect from a world beyond studentship. Then she went away and said ‘I’ll be back in five minutes, and somehow she was. Then she said ‘I’ll be back in a 1 minute’ and never returned.

After that things go into a bit of a blur, involving a strange conversation with Tanita’s date-rapist-murder boyfriend, who is probably called Dwayne, involving ‘Js’ and ‘lingo’ that nobody really understood. After trying (and failing) to help Yasemin stop Lauren from getting with some unsavoury folk (James Rogers, etcetera) I decided to call it a night and murder some sheep in my sleep.

In the morning I woke up fairly early, then dozed until I was woken properly by a burst of techno music, curtesy of Messrs Smith-Creasey and Smedley, who had been doing an all-nighter for some strange reason. They don’t really sleep anyway. I thought I would do what I could to help, so I picked up almost all the rubbish (sorted into glass and other stuff) on my own until Max came to help, then I helped Eliza dismantle the unused marquee until my brother arrived to pick me up.
We picked up Elliot on the way back, so we had the day at my house to play games and stuff, but nothing ground-breaking happened.

Then we break away from actual time periods and sense and have a jumble of stuff I’ve been doing now my compulsory education is ended, most of it half-remembered.

  • I rewatched all of Bleach with the subs and minus all filler, which was pretty fun, if only to waste some more time. Skipping the Bount arc is a godsend.
  • I re-read the last two Harry Potter books – the first so that I can point out everything wrong with the movie and piss off everyone around me, and the second because I’ve only actually read it once before, on the day it was released. I’d forgotten the awesome bit where Neville draws out the Master Sword Gryffindor’s Sword and hacks of Nagini’s head. If they cut/screw up that bit in the movie I’ll murder some dudes.
    I also finally got around to reading The Tales of Beedle the Bard which kinda… sucks.
  • Michael Jackson died. That kinda sucked for everyone who paid a million pounds to go to his comeback concert. My brother doesn’t understand MJ, but then again he doesn’t understand that almost all of his music is drum and bass bullshit. And he insults videogame music for being repetitive.
  • I saw a video of Final Fantasy IV: The After Years when I was randomly looking through feeds, and I heard the boss music, and it was so nostalgic that I had to go back and play the original again. Then I remembered how bad I am how much it sucks, so i went on my barely started Final Fantasy III/VI file and made a ton of progress, so that I’m now on the ruined world, where everything is very open-ended and kinda boring, so I stopped.
  • Remember this blog, and this one? Well, I’ve now finished that same LoZ:OoT save file that provided the namesake for both of those entries. I did the Water and Spirit temple in one day, and then today I did the Shadow temple (Most screwed-up dungeon ever. Invisible spinning blades over invisible pits with invisible hands grabbing you from the ceiling?), followed by Ganondorf’s tower and the final boss battle, which I pwned in time for dinner. I’m so pro.
  • We’ve done some dinghy sailing on a lake near our house, which is nice. I’d forgotten how much I suck at dinghy sailing.
  • I’m still here. This means that I haven’t yet been dragged off on a long sailing trip by my parents due to inclement weather conditions on the Dutch coast. And in turn, that means that…
  • I preordered The Conduit yesterday! Ye-heah, bitches. When the release date for Europe was moved from the 26th June to the 10th July it looked like I would never get to play the game before we left on our trip, but it seems like I might just have a few days with it. After that I’ll take it with me on the trip so my brother can’t play it. Hahahaha! That reminds me – Kefka is the best villain ever. So lovable.
  • I’ve been spending even more time on ScrewAttack for want of better things to do. There are none.
  • I got a letter a few days ago saying that I was deemed acceptable by my interviewers to receive an Arkwright scholarship award. I don’t get my £250 until the awards ceremony at the end of October, but I might get a new laptop before then and just use the money to replenish some of my savings. Obviously I was happy about this, but at the same time I wasn’t really bothered. It probably sounds stupid and arrogant to say (actually, scratch that, it IS stupid and arrogant to say) but I felt like I knew I was going to get it anyway, and this was just base confirmation that was mostly superficial. I’m glad that all the effort (haha) I put into that interview didn’t go to waste.

While I’ve almost certainly forgotten some stuff, it’s now 02:33, which means that this blog took just 58 minutes to write. That’s quick by my standards. No pictures helps.

Actually, while I’m here, I just wanted to mention that I think I’ve discovered Umbrella Corporation’s guise.

A firm that makes packaging... And ZOMBIE INDUCING DRUGS?

A firm that makes taps, showers... And ZOMBIE INDUCING DRUGS?

A firm that DEFINITLEY makes Zombie-inducing drugs.

A firm that DEFINITELY makes Zombie-inducing drugs.

Giving it six sections instead of eight and changing the colour scheme can’t fool me! And look at the ‘Bristan’ logo – if you only look at one colour it looks like the Nuclear hazard logo! Could this be the NUCLEAR zombie division of Umbrella? Of course, having control of 70% of the UK’s taps would mean that at any point, special transponders inside the taps could be activated by radio signals so that they begin releasing the nuclear zombie virus into the water supply…

Wow, you know, I’ve been meaning to blog about that Umbrella/Bristan thing for about six months. And you probably think it’s all bollocks. By the way, Umbrella is a fictional medical company from the Resident Evil series that experiments on unwitting humans, often creating zombies.


1 Comment

  1. Chris said,

    Your blog gave me a headache…. Oh, I have no glasses on… ‘splains why I read lake as toke….. You missed out your lippy kiss with Ned….
    Yeah, when I scanned the blog and saw that Briston thing, I though “That looks a lot like Umbrella”.
    ALSO, I have stuff for joo! As in, stuff to mark (b^-^)b and when are you leaving, cause we should so totally do something before then to prove we aren’t all a bunch of loners that spend all day and all night playing video games and watching anime whilst listening to loud music to drown out our tears of loneliness…. oh wait…

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